For years unwashed dishware has piled up in our sink. Are dirty dishes an example of the tragedy of the commons? What are the implications of certain surfactant chemicals for dishware in a post-clean world? Are dishes really 'dirty' or are my conceptions of 'dish,' 'dirt,' 'ditty,' and 'Chairman Mao' a part of the dramaturgical constructs of my fractured self, in a strictly Durkheimian sense? I try to answer these and other questions daily.
Surfactants are cool. They break down the resistant chain of water molecules that form a skin on the surface of water, called water tension. This allows lipids and other 'dirty' substances that otherwise would ignore it to mix in with water and be carried away. (Surface + act + rodent = Surfactant.) Good news for me, and the plates, provided they want to be 'clean,'* bad news for aquatic life downstream, whose molecules will suddenly want to bond with water!
If we establish that dirty dishes are indeed a by-product of the tragedy of the commons, in conjunction with the liberal media, it becomes clear that our nation's natural resources, from Yellowstone to the Everglades, must be privatized.
Postmodernism really isn't what you think, folks. Postmodernism is a man sitting on his front porch, a jug of moonshine in one hand, a banjee in t'other, and a shotgun resting on his knees. Postmodernism is a steaming plate of your mama's . . . hand rolled sushi with wasabi and pickled ginger.
In conclusion, our sink is a land of contrasts.
*And they do, as I certainly know what plates want. By 'knowing' the plate, I establish it as such, it only exists in relationship to me, as the Other, or if you will--what I eat off of.